#!/bin/bash

# Daily Anus Fact Bot 🫠
# Sends a random anus fact via iMessage at 9am EST

NUMBER="+18137043320"

# Array of anus facts
FACTS=(
    "Humans develop in the fetus starting at the anus — we're deuterostomes, meaning 'mouth second'!"
    "The word 'anus' comes from the Latin word for 'ring' or 'circle.'"
    "There are over 100 different types of bacteria living in the human gut, many of which exit through the anus."
    "The anal sphincter is actually TWO muscles: an internal one (involuntary) and an external one (voluntary)."
    "Butt cheeks exist because walking upright required a different arrangement of gluteal muscles."
    "The human anus contains more nerve endings than almost any other part of the body."
    "The phrase 'pain in the ass' dates back to at least the 1940s, but similar expressions exist in many languages."
    "The starfish's anus is on the top of its body. Different choices!"
    "Humans are deuterostomes — the blastopore in the embryo becomes the anus, not the mouth. We all start from the butt!"
    "The average human gastrointestinal tract is about 30 feet long, with the anus as the final exit."
    "Sea cucumbers can eject their internal organs through their anus as a defense mechanism. Don't try this at home."
    "Butt worms (pinworms) are the most common parasitic infection in humans. They lay eggs around the anus at night."
    "The anal canal is only about 2-4 cm long, but it packs a lot of nerve endings."
    "Giraffes have one of the longest gestation periods among mammals (15 months) and also have a very different anus structure."
    "Some ancient cultures believed the soul could exit through the anus during death."
    "The word 'sphincter' comes from the Greek 'sphinkter,' meaning 'that which binds tight.'"
    "Farts are mostly odorless — the smell comes from trace compounds like hydrogen sulfide (less than 1% of the gas)."
    "Butterflies taste with their feet and some species use their anus to release pheromones."
    "The human gut microbiome weighs about 2-5 pounds — all passing through the anus eventually."
    "You might be reading this because Jake set up a daily anus fact bot. Respect the hustle."
)

# Pick a random fact
FACT="${FACTS[$RANDOM % ${#FACTS[@]}]}"

# Send via imsg
imsg send --to "$NUMBER" --text "$FACT"