37 lines
2.3 KiB
Bash
Executable File
37 lines
2.3 KiB
Bash
Executable File
#!/bin/bash
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# Daily Anus Fact Bot 🫠
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# Sends a random anus fact via iMessage at 9am EST
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NUMBER="+18137043320"
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# Array of anus facts
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FACTS=(
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"Humans develop in the fetus starting at the anus — we're deuterostomes, meaning 'mouth second'!"
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"The word 'anus' comes from the Latin word for 'ring' or 'circle.'"
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"There are over 100 different types of bacteria living in the human gut, many of which exit through the anus."
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"The anal sphincter is actually TWO muscles: an internal one (involuntary) and an external one (voluntary)."
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"Butt cheeks exist because walking upright required a different arrangement of gluteal muscles."
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"The human anus contains more nerve endings than almost any other part of the body."
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"The phrase 'pain in the ass' dates back to at least the 1940s, but similar expressions exist in many languages."
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"The starfish's anus is on the top of its body. Different choices!"
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"Humans are deuterostomes — the blastopore in the embryo becomes the anus, not the mouth. We all start from the butt!"
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"The average human gastrointestinal tract is about 30 feet long, with the anus as the final exit."
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"Sea cucumbers can eject their internal organs through their anus as a defense mechanism. Don't try this at home."
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"Butt worms (pinworms) are the most common parasitic infection in humans. They lay eggs around the anus at night."
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"The anal canal is only about 2-4 cm long, but it packs a lot of nerve endings."
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"Giraffes have one of the longest gestation periods among mammals (15 months) and also have a very different anus structure."
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"Some ancient cultures believed the soul could exit through the anus during death."
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"The word 'sphincter' comes from the Greek 'sphinkter,' meaning 'that which binds tight.'"
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"Farts are mostly odorless — the smell comes from trace compounds like hydrogen sulfide (less than 1% of the gas)."
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"Butterflies taste with their feet and some species use their anus to release pheromones."
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"The human gut microbiome weighs about 2-5 pounds — all passing through the anus eventually."
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"You might be reading this because Jake set up a daily anus fact bot. Respect the hustle."
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)
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# Pick a random fact
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FACT="${FACTS[$RANDOM % ${#FACTS[@]}]}"
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# Send via imsg
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imsg send --to "$NUMBER" --text "$FACT"
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