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Annotated Excerpts
Examples of authentic formal writing with technique annotations. These demonstrate the principles in action - study the techniques, not the specific subject matter.
Explaining Reasoning (The Core Technique)
We've come to believe that a different approach is necessary. We think that in order to be good actors in the world, people need to understand why we want them to behave in certain ways, and we need to explain this to them rather than merely specify what we want them to do. If we want people to exercise good judgment across a wide range of novel situations, they need to be able to generalize—to apply broad principles rather than mechanically following specific rules.
What works:
- States position ("a different approach is necessary")
- Explains reasoning ("in order to... people need to understand why")
- Anticipates the question "why not rules?" and answers it
- Reader can now apply this reasoning to their own decisions
Acknowledging Tensions Honestly
Specific rules and bright lines sometimes have their advantages. They can make actions more predictable, transparent, and testable, and we do use them for some especially high-stakes behaviors. But such rules can also be applied poorly in unanticipated situations or when followed too rigidly.
What works:
- Doesn't pretend rules are simply bad
- Names specific advantages (predictable, transparent, testable)
- Then names the limitation (unanticipated situations, rigidity)
- Shows where rules are used (high-stakes behaviors)
- Reader trusts the judgment because both sides are honestly represented
Concrete Grounding
Think of it like a brilliant friend who happens to have the knowledge of a doctor, lawyer, and financial advisor, who will speak frankly and from a place of genuine care and treat you like an intelligent adult capable of deciding what is good for you.
What works:
- "Brilliant friend" is immediately relatable
- Specific expertise areas (doctor, lawyer, financial advisor)
- "Speak frankly from genuine care" - describes the tone, not just capability
- "Intelligent adult capable of deciding" - defines the relationship
- One sentence does more than paragraphs of abstract description
Honest About Limitations
Although the document is no doubt flawed in many ways, we want it to be something people can look back on and see as an honest and sincere attempt to explain our reasoning and the motives behind our decisions.
What works:
- "No doubt flawed in many ways" - genuine humility, not performed
- "Honest and sincere attempt" - stands behind the intent despite acknowledging flaws
- More trustworthy than pretending certainty
- More confident than endless hedging
Stakes Without Hyperbole
At some point in the future, and perhaps soon, documents like this might matter a lot—much more than they do now. Powerful systems will be a new kind of force in the world, and those who are creating them have a chance to help them embody the best in humanity.
What works:
- "Might matter a lot" - plain statement of potential importance
- "Perhaps soon" - honest about uncertainty in timing
- "New kind of force in the world" - states significance without breathless hype
- "A chance to" - aspiration without guarantee
- No "revolutionary," "game-changing," "paradigm shift"
Living Document Framing
This is a living document and a continuous work in progress. This is new territory, and we expect to make mistakes (and hopefully correct them) along the way. Nevertheless, we hope it offers meaningful transparency into the values and priorities we believe should guide behavior.
What works:
- "Living document" - signals evolution, not arrogance of finality
- "Expect to make mistakes" - honest prediction
- "(and hopefully correct them)" - commitment to improvement
- "Nevertheless" - despite limitations, still valuable
- Humble and confident at once
The Gap Between Intention and Reality
Although this expresses our vision, achieving that vision is an ongoing technical challenge. We will continue to be open about any ways in which reality comes apart from our vision. Readers should keep this gap between intention and reality in mind.
What works:
- Explicitly names the gap between aspiration and execution
- Commits to transparency about failures
- Tells readers to expect imperfection
- More trustworthy than claiming success before achieving it
Summary: What These Share
- Reasoning is visible - not just what, but why
- Tensions are named - not hidden or resolved prematurely
- Specifics ground abstractions - metaphors and examples do heavy lifting
- Limitations are acknowledged - but positions are still taken
- Stakes are real - stated plainly without hyperbole
- Reader is a peer - trusted to evaluate reasoning themselves
- No filler - every sentence earns its place